I talked to a woman tonight who is contemplating using a friend as a gestational carrier.
She asked what I learned from the cycles last summer. I haven’t let myself think too much about it, and my message wasn’t exactly positive.
I learned that new and refreshed hope is devastating when it fails. I learned that even when you think you’ve found the answer, it’s not always going to work.
I hope it works for her. She said something about just hoping for that one baby. I remembered wishing that, too. Sort of – I always wanted more than one child.
This is when I wonder if I need to step away from the support groups – I lead, I try to be positive. But this stuff isn’t always positive. And sometimes I leave more drained and raw. Is this right for me? I want to give back, but I also, unfortunately, need to move on.