bitter wistfulness

or wistful bitterness? Several of you have written about bitterness lately. I definitely have bitter moments. My most bitter feelings are often directed towards people like, say, Britney Spears. Seriously, she gets to have a baby and not me?

Seeing pregnant women doesn’t elicit a bitter visceral reaction from me. More like wistful. I’ll look at them with a teensy bit of jealousy mixed with longing. It’s more sadness than anger or bitterness. But I’m new to this IF bit. If I peek around the corner in time, I can easily see becoming angry. Even the sadness I feel can interfere with friendships. The easily pregnant just don’t get it. It’s not that they aren’t trying to be nice or supportive; it’s that they can’t conceive (haha!) of the sadness that accompanies the beginning of each new cycle.

I think today is cd1.

~ by Larisa on August 22, 2005.

7 Responses to “bitter wistfulness”

  1. Hoping this cycle WILL be the one and that your wistful bitterness never has to come to be.

  2. Yes…BSpears can have a baby? Life is not fair!!!

    I also hope that you never face the angry bitterness of IF – it sucks. I am hopeful for a great cycle for you!

    PS. I WOULDN’T be jealous of you! 🙂

  3. yes, the whole BS having a baby is simply angering. i know it’s a baby and a joyful event but c’mon…BRITNEY SPEARS!?!?!?

    hoping above all hope that THIS cycle be THE one!

  4. Sorry about CD1. 😦

    And why CAN she have a baby and we can’t? So not fair.

  5. I hope this is a great cycle for you… and I hope I’m not too far behind! It’d be great if we could cycle together.

    Brittney Spears is going to be such a GREAT mom! I’m really happy for her pregnancy and have avidly been following every purchase and ultrasound (dripping sarcasm).

  6. I think the bitterness os the one thing that’s almost impossible to avoid, no matter who you are or how good you are at dealing with IF. I’m glad it doesn’t consume you though.

    And Miss Britney proves my theory of how children and pregnancy is not a reward based system. My husband firmly believes that she sees it as her way out.

  7. I agree, they just don’t get it. And yep, the life just isn’t fair.

    I wish you success this cycle.

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