I am not feeling the Christmas spirit. I am not participating in the neighborhood decorate-a-thon that is currently taking place. The urge has not struck me to assemble my tiny Christmas village, and I seriously think we may go tree-less this year.

I am particularly irritated by J’s extended family right now. Every year, they have a Christmas party. We are the only pair that have to travel from out of town to attend, so we probably make about half of them. They don’t call and ask what days will work for us. So this year, the stupid party is on the Wednesday before Christmas. J, not being a teacher-type, actually has to work that week, so we will not be attending.

However, we do have the lovely opportunity to purchase one of the numerous children a gift. Why? Because his family clearly doesn’t understand the rules of gift exchanges. These are all second-cousins, etc, that we do not buy personal gifts for. Some of the family members (mostly his parents’ generation) got tired of buying individiual gifts for each child (one cousin has 5), so they decided that each family (we are the only ones without children) would get assigned a child.

The first problem, in my simple mind, is that you should still have to buy the same number of gifts as you have children. It should be a kid gift exchange (there already exists an adult one). Therefore, we should be exempt.

The second problem? We are expected to participate EVEN THOUGH WE AREN’T ATTENDING the stupid party. They know we aren’t attending. We got our assignment over the weekend. The child (15) is to email us a list of things she might like to receive.

And J is adamant that we participate. So we will. But I don’t like it.

Surgery update: Physically, I’m great. I went for a run this morning, and today is the first day my appetite is really back. Emotionally…honestly, I’m struggling. I feel broken and not so hopeful. I hope that will fade.


~ by Larisa on November 28, 2005.

6 Responses to “humbuggish”

  1. I PROMISE the low feelings will fade. I thought I was going to go insane with hopelessness, and while I’m not a perky cheery optimist I’m not feeling so down.

    I am, however, dreading the holidays. We’re seriously considering going tree-less as well.

    I hope you feel better soon.

  2. i agree, participating when you’re not even attending sounds ridiculous to me!

    i do hope those feelings will fade as well. i know all seems so hopeless and impossible right now. i wish i could tell you for sure that there is hope and good things to come. you’re in my thoughts and prayers…

  3. Oh Mrs. Hope, thinking of you right now and wishing I could hug you. I’m sorry things seem so hopeless just now. It would be good if the holidays could provide at least some sort of distraction but it sounds as if it is making things seem worse.
    The gift thing sounds silly. And I hate the idea of the recipient emailing and giving you a list.

    I hope things brighten soon for you.

  4. Only because J wants to participate in the gift exchange will I condone it. You’re absolutely right in feeling it isn’t fair. I’m sorry you have to deal with it, but it will mean a lot to J and is therefore so kind of you.

    It won’t make it any easier, but know that you’re not the only one out there who isn’t feeling the holiday spirit.

  5. The gift exchange sounds ridiculous… silly silly. But I know what it is to appease the husband- you’re smart to play along.

    It’s ok to be blue, but know that we are all sending you our positive thoughts. Hang in there. I know that has to sound trite, but I really mean it. Your time will come.


  6. Not feeling the Christmas spirit much either this year. I am usually insanely into it.

    I hope that you feel better soon.

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