limbo

So my doctor, ever optimistic, suggested that I buy an OPK and have sex every other day this cycle. I must have looked at him in disbelief – he then said, “Stranger things have happened!”

I’m actually a little annoyed with him for that. A little annoyed that I will, again, let hope peek her head through the door. That I will, again, be disappointed when my period inevitably shows up in however many weeks.

There is a small amount of confusion with the insurance and the benefits company. They are now saying that they’ve never covered infertility testing or treatment, despite all of the testing and treatment we’ve had covered over the past nine months or so. I’ve been in contact with another woman in the same situation, and they’ve covered at least one of her ultrasounds this year for an IUI cycle. If they cover the ultrasounds and bloodwork during an IUI cycle, J may want to reconsider and do one more round.

I’m not so sure about me. If indeed the insurance company is just plain stupid and will cover just the u/s and b/w despite the clear exclusion statement in the coverage document, it would cut the cost of the next cycle to about $650 (we already have the drugs). Which makes it tempting.

But I’m so tired. I’m tired of waiting. Aren’t we all?

But I have no choice. I will wait and see if the insurance company continues to pay her claims. I will wait and see if she gets anywhere with the benefits company. I will wait and see if I ovulate. I will wait and see if I get pregnant on my “rest” cycle. I will wait and see if the squatter cyst goes away.

Then we get to actually make decisions.

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~ by Larisa on January 14, 2006.

7 Responses to “limbo”

  1. Don’t ya love insurance? I fought with mine for 2 weeks over getting reimbursed that $800 I had to pay out of pocket for 2 shots because they couldn’t get their asses in gear and get my meds approved in time for my cycle!
    –deep breath–

    So, you think you might do another IUI?

  2. At this point of the ttc heartbreak and bullshit, I can’t imagine the stress of every other day. Every other day the WHOLE cycle?? Lately every time we do so, whether it’s ttc or just for love, it exacerbates my sadness.

    Anyway, I forgot to buy an OPK. Monday is day 10. I’ll buy one on Monday. Maybe we’ll be urban legends together.

    Now excuse me while I was the snide sarcasm out of my mouth.

    Stranger things have happened… like the Virgin Mary appearing in someone’s tortilla. Or Elvis spottings. Or Big Foot.

    Doctors piss me off.

  3. My insurance company did that. Out of all seven of my treatment cycles they never once realized that bloodwork or ultrasounds were for infertility. The only things they did were for the sperm charges, the actually IUI, and the retrieval and transfer. I never brought it to their attention.

  4. I’m sorry for all the waiting…

  5. Oh Mrs. Hope, I’m sorry you’re feeling so trapped at the moment. Insurance companies make little sense and it always adds to the frustration of the whole process.

    I guess the RE felt he needed to give you some sense of hope. That’s probably a plus, because if your situation were hopeless I don’t think he’d be leading you down that path. That doesn’t help things now, so if you think you’d rather not bother with the stress of timing sex this month – screw it (excuse, the lame pun) and don’t use an opk and just wait ’til you go in next month to see whether that bugger of a cyst has left like she should.

  6. It’s unfortunate that the health care system sucks and most of the procedures for IF aren’t covered. I know how hard the waiting is.

  7. Larissa,

    I hope the insurance company keeps paying for the infertility stuff. Sometimes they really don’t notice some stuff. I wish I was so lucky.
    If you already have the meds, I can see how tempting it would be to try one more time:) I think I might make that same decision too:)

    Oh, I would rather have your doctor who has hope then mine who is scared of giving their patients too much hope. It may be just to scare everyone into IVF, in that case it sure worked on me…either way there isn’t any harm in casually trying, it just sucks when that tiny amount of hope gets squashed…….

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