I am…

… a light-weight. I had one glass of wine (my first and last in months) and I am hopelessly drunk. So you get to read my random thoughts.

1) Feeling much better about the cervix. Why? Because. Because time has elapsed. Because there really isn’t anything I can do about it.

2) However, that doesn’t mean I have completely forgotten about it. My new idea…call tomorrow and ask if my doctor would consider doing an u/s guided mock transfer. If he says no, I’m right back where I started. If he says yes, and it succeeds, I will feel much, much better. If he says yes, and it fails, I am (again) right back here where I began. I hate the thought of being one of those pester-y patients, but this is beyond important to me. Unless someone knows of a lab where they grow embryos for…say…38 weeks?

3) P. needs your love and support. I cannot fathom how I would feel in her position.

4) Remember that RESOLVE post awhile back? Well, I’ve continued going to the meetings, and I have enjoyed them. I have now somehow volunteered to possibly be co-president of the local chapter. And this is when I hadn’t had a drop to drink. I am meeting with the current president and 2 other women tomorrow to discuss the details.

5) J is coming out of the IF closet. Sort of. Parents of a long-time friend of his (since 1st grade) were in our neighborhood yesterday and came by to chat. I didn’t know they were here for about 30 minutes (they were outside). They asked J the age-old question I will never ask, “So, have you guys thought about kids?” J said to me later…”I just can’t pretend anymore that we don’t.” So he said “yeah”. Then they proceeded to ask, “Have you done more than think?” J said, “As a matter of fact, we just started IVF.” I’m really, really proud of him.

6) I have to thank Amanda for answering all of my wonky cervix questions. Thank goodness for the internet, bloggy-land, and message boards. Without these, how would I ever ever ever meet someone who knew what I was talking about?

7) I have completely given up caffeine, Advil, and even decaf Starbucks. I have not, and will not, give up chocolate. I am very undecided about running. Are there any lurking runners who ran through a successful IVF cycle? Part of me says I should stop. Part of me says…that’s not why I’m infertile. I would really like to run this race. Odds are, I will know if I am pregnant by then. If I am, I will be so overjoyed that I will be walking it. If I’m not, I will run it as fast as I can.

8) There is a drought here. There are no bluebonnets, and my grass is dead. Like gray dead.

9) I have 3 Lupron injections under my belt. Really, no biggie. I’m proud of myself in a weird way. Now that I’ve done the shots, it seems silly. But if you’d told me a couple of years ago that I’d be giving myself shots in my tummy, I’d have called you crazy.

10) Priceless. Did anyone see the mastercard “priceless” spots during the Academy Awards on Sunday? I immediately thought…I can come up with a good one about motherhood. But that’s not the contest. You have to come up with words to a choice of two already filmed spots.

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~ by Larisa on March 7, 2006.

5 Responses to “I am…”

  1. I also have a wonky cervix. During my first transfer the doctor (not my regular doctor) spent over an hour, used the metal rod and a clamp and ended up causing contractions and sending me home tellng me it could not be done. I went back three days later to my regular doctor and she used the cathedar with very little difficulty.

    I would definetely ask for the ultrasound guided mock transfer. I don’t profess to be an expert but as someone with a complete 90 degree angle, I also have learned that if my bladder is as full as I can possibly bear, the procedure is much less complicated and more successful.

    Good luck and I am thinking of you.

  2. No problem. I have to say that I LOVE the idea of a lab growing embryos for 38 weeks. That’s so what I need. It would solve so many problems, ya know.

    Good luck getting the mock transfer scheduled. I definitely think that’s not a bad idea at all.

  3. Congrats on becoming a RESOLVE chapter pres. That’s huge! I’m strangely proud of you for doing it. Glad you’re feeling better, now, about the transfer/cervix. It must help knowing there are others that have the same trouble.

  4. I have no wise words of advice for you. Good luck with this cycle.

  5. Great news that you’ve started, the injections really aren’t that bad,are they,?

    You might get in touch w nico at no period, baby. She’s 14 weeks and played ice hockey and lifted weights while ttc.

    For goodness sake ask the doc for what you need. Fortune favours the brave.

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