it just keeps getting better…(edited)

My beta went up. Doubled from a week ago.

My doctor was in surgery and hasn’t seen the numbers. I have no idea what this means – but I know it isn’t good news.

They should call me tonight.

I’m scared, I’m angry, I’m so frustrated. I’m so empty.

Edited to add:

The nurse called me back. I go Wednesday for another hCG as well as a “methotrexate panel”. They changed the ICD-9 code on my lab slip to 633.10 – “tubal pregnancy without intrauterine pregnancy”. If the hCG goes up on Wednesday, I’m guaranteed the shot. If not, I get to do more blood draws.

I have to say that I think my doctor should have called. I know he’s busy, I know he doesn’t really have anymore answers than the nurse right now. But this is so, so, so, so hard.

~ by Larisa on May 8, 2006.

12 Responses to “it just keeps getting better…(edited)”

  1. Fuck it all. I’m so sorry.

  2. Oh shit. I’m so, so sorry.

  3. Oh that’s awful – why does everything have to be so fucking hard. I’m so sorry.

  4. I am so sorry. I wish I could say or do something for you. PRAYING…

  5. Mrs. Hope, this really, really fucking sucks. 😦 I am praying for you!

  6. As if you haven’t gone through enough. *hugs*

  7. I’m so sorry.

  8. Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.

  9. Jesus, Mrs. Hope. What you’re going through must be so bloody hard. I so wish it wasn’t so. Thinking of you…

  10. ugh…

    I just read your past three entries. You are an amazing person, you and your husband both. I cannot imagine the strength it must have taken to make the decisions you have made in the past two weeks alone. You are so right to keep holding onto each other as this awful storm of infertility blows through.

  11. That’s the last thing you need. (but I don’t have to tell you that)


  12. How awful for you. I am so sorry.

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