3 years

Today is the three year anniversary of my brother’s death. I think it’s probably the first October 11th that I haven’t woken up with dread or tears since he died.

I’m not forgetting. The scabs have fallen off, and I’m left with silvery scars.

It’s an odd thing. A year ago I would have said I was more sad about my brother’s death. Now – though his loss is permanent and tangible – I would say I am more sad about infertility. More sad about the possible loss of my future life than the loss of my past life.

I’ve also been thinking about Thalia and her decision to go quiet. I wish she wouldn’t – but I understand why she is doing so. Everytime I check my blog stats and there’s a hit from somewhere in Hopeville, my heart skips a beat. Is it someone I know “in real life”?

Tomorrow is the appointment with my doctor. I hope that after the appointment I will have reason to hope for a better outcome.


~ by Larisa on October 11, 2006.

7 Responses to “3 years”

  1. I am sad about Thalia as well.

    I have feared more than anything that someone from my work would eventually find my blog. That would be horrifying!

    Thinking of you today…. and good luck with your appointment.

  2. Hope your day isn’t too bad.

  3. Thinking of you on this very difficult day.

    I am very sad about Thalia as well. She has been placed in a impossible position and I truly hope that she is able to resolve it and cope without her support network. When I think about the comfort and knowledge I have received from her blog, I am selfishly very sad that she will no longer be around. I truly hope she gets pregnant and can put this mess behind her somewhat.

  4. I posted in the other thread on the way to work this morning, but I will post here too. I have thought about you lots today. Hugs honey, Hugs.

  5. *hugs* thinking about you.

  6. Another one out here thinking about you and sending you hugs..

  7. Here’s another Hug!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: