cervical neurosis

If this isn’t in the DSM-IV, it should be. I am officially a complete nut about my cervix. Granted, in my opinion, my cervix is a nasty obstacle.

I am not happy with the laminaria plan (4mm laminaria placement at retrieval, removal 24 hours later, Day 3 transfer – we’ve given up all hope of a Day 5 transfer). I feel very strongly that the horrible laminaria placement the day before my frozen transfer is the reason that cycle failed. I feel slightly less strongly about the placement at retrieval because my cervix and uterus will have about 48 hours to recover before the embryos are transferred.

So I asked…since, during the first cycle, my cervix was dilated to 6mm with the metal rods (no laminaria) and that transfer went ok, why not try that again? So we did another dilation and mock transfer 3 days later.

It didn’t work. The dilation worked. But he couldn’t get even a Tomcat catheter anywhere close to through my cervix. Why?

I told myself that if it didn’t work, that’s ok, we know the laminaria worked – we have our plan.

But I hate our plan. HATE it. I’ve got a few follow-up questions I’m waiting on answers from. You know…like, “Has anyone ever ACTUALLY gotten pregnant after this kind of torture?” But I doubt the answers will significantly alter my feelings.

Maybe I don’t have to like it. But somehow I’ve got to come to a peaceful place with it. How?


~ by Larisa on December 13, 2006.

3 Responses to “cervical neurosis”

  1. You’ve probably covered this in a previous post, but has your doctor talked about doing a ZIFT procedure?

    It’s a procedure that has fallen out of fashion. Originally, the culture media wasn’t fine tuned well enough to let embryo’s stay in a petri dish for many days. So they put fertilized eggs back into the fallopian tubes asap. They do this by way of a laparoscopy.

    Not pleasant either, but it doesn’t involve traumatising the cervix. Your concerns in that regard are valid, since irritating the cervix is a contraceptive method (IUDs). It seems that the recovery time between retrieval and transfer would make a difference in that respect, but still.

  2. I was thinking about a zift procedure when I read your post. I see that Lut was thinking the same thing. Maybe great minds think alike? I guess it is worth asking about anyway.

    I agree with you–you do need to have peace about whatever happens. It is your body and your mind. Good luck.

  3. I have no idea how to come to a peaceful place as it seems peace has been ellusive since starting treatment. Some people say prayer, or handing the problem over to God… that’s too abstract for me.

    Willie Nelson says time. Tons of other people have said it, too but when Willie said it he didn’t speak in cliches so it resonated with me.

    Of course you’re a complete nut about your cervix. It is a traitorous little beast. Your cervix and my ovaries will rot in hell together.

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