to call or not to call…

It’s three and a half weeks – at a minimum – before I can begin 7-10 days of the little Lupron shots. But I desperately want to call. To begin the scheduling, the ordering, the making of the plan. It could be as long as five and a half weeks.

It doesn’t help that it’s icy outside and I can’t go anywhere. It just gives me more time to think.

If I call, is it too early? Will they actually know anything?

But I want to call. So much. Because it theoretically gets the ball rolling. Because it means I can enter dates on my calendar. Because it means I can get my box ‘o drugs (which should be mostly free because of Freedom’s buy-two-get-the-third-because-you’re-terribly-infertile-and we-pity-you plan). Because it gives me things to count down to, to look forward to.

I’m at my best when I have a plan. When I’m cycling. That’s when I can almost taste the positive outcome.

Waiting – I’m not good at that. I’m terribly impatient with time. It’s funny – I don’t care if my doctor is running late. That I’m infinitely patient about. But this day to day to day, call or don’t call, this waiting for the plan…it makes me crazy.

I’d like to be able to justify calling. There’s no justification other than my (in)sanity.

I’ll probably call. It’s one of those Mondays.

~ by Larisa on January 15, 2007.

6 Responses to “to call or not to call…”

  1. I think it’s OK to call, when I am in doubt I tell myself that I pay then enough to warrant “bugging” them!

  2. Hey, by calling this early, you’ll have the pick of the appointment slots instead of having to take either the crack-of-dawn-no-one-should-be-awake-at-this-hour or the middle-of-the-day-who-needs-lunch appointment. I’ll be calling to schedule our February consult either today or tomorrow for that very reason!

  3. The waiting between cycles just drags and drags.


  4. By all means — call. You owe it to your sanity.

  5. I live in Hopeville and have an unopened Lupron kit, you are welcome to it – I won’t use it before it expires in October. My profile has an email link if you are interested.

  6. I was adopted 44 years ago by a couple that was having a lot of trouble having a second baby after the birth three years earlier of their son, my older brother, Bud. Then while the wheels were turning on my adoption my mom got pregnant and carried to term my brother, Mo, 5 months my junior. Later they adopted once more, my kid brother, Scott. We’re a loving family, with our troubles and our joys, like anyone. Long story short — consider adoption. The world is filled with kids who need loving parents. I gave my parents some real hard times growing up as I struggled with abandonment issues, but today I’m so grateful for the gift they gave me. They’re my ”real” parents and I am their ”real” son. My younger brother, also adopted, is my ”real” brother. Adopting isn’t an easy option, and it probably isn’t the planet you’ve always dreamed of inhabiting. But it has rich rewards for those who open their hearts. My folks will celebrate 50 years together in June.

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