coming out (now with link at the bottom)

Waaaay out.

This is a very self-conscious post. After all my fretting about people finding my blog – about caring what the people in my life might think about my blog – I’ve made what will probably seem like an odd decision. There will be people I know reading this blog – there already ARE people I know reading this blog.

Blogging has been such an important part of coping with infertility and the treatment process. From wondering if we needed treatment and thinking about cancelling that first appointment so many times to the realization that there were things wrong with me that I didn’t even know about. From silly to heartbreaking to unspeakably angry. This blog has been my outlet.

Your blogs have been my support. I felt so alone in this struggle. None of my friends had trouble getting pregnant. Though they’ve been sympathetic and supportive, they cannot imagine the depth of my yearning – they cannot understand the process and the appointments. Only women (and men) who have been here can.

Finding this blog community meant finding other women who just KNEW.

I was informed a little over a week ago via my local chapter of RESOLVE about a reporter doing a story on women who were struggling with infertility and blogging about their experiences.

I was (am) scared of the implications. It could mean that my friends will read this blog. It could mean that someone from my doctor’s office will read this blog. I never intended this blog to be anything but a journal – an outlet for thoughts, both light and dark.

But what if it somehow helps? One, two, ten infertile women? Who don’t know about the support that exists here? That possibility alone outweighed the risks for me.

So I did the interview. They took pictures on Friday. I think it will run this Sunday, but I don’t know if it will be a tiny blurb or a longer piece.

I hope it’s something I can be proud of. I hope it helps.

Here it is. You may have to create an account to view it.

~ by Larisa on January 18, 2007.

32 Responses to “coming out (now with link at the bottom)”

  1. That’s so exciting. Post it if you can.

    I was interviewed by Prevention magazine once, but they ended up not running the article. I was bummed.

  2. You should already be proud! You have come a long way!

  3. I have been a lurker of yours for a while now. When you asked us to hold your hope I did, and I told my best friend who is also going through infertility treatment about holding her hope and she just cried, she loved it. I think of how brave you are to share your story so that you might help others, because in ways its so painful and other ways its theraputic. (I can’t spell). Anyway, I just want to say that I’m still holding your hope in Oregon.

  4. turbocrash made my eyes tear up.

    I’m sure the article will be something to be proud of — and yes, you are brave. We (IF patients) are all brave, but you’re especially brave for coming so far out of the closet.

  5. That is so awesome!!!! I hope you post the article.

  6. That’s brave. Will you post the article here for us to read?

    I just discovered your blog, after you discovered mine, I think. I look forward to following your journey.

  7. Good for you Larissa. I know it must be terrifying to be so very public, but you are right, you could help women who are going through this struggle alone, find this very supportive community.

    I haven’t actually told women about my blog, but I have told them about this community and the great people here and sent them to other’s blogs. I figure if they find mine so be it.

  8. Good for you, I do hope it helps. Will you tell us where to find it?

  9. Good for you! Can’t wait to read the article (hint, hint)!

  10. I was interviewed for the same article so we will be in this together. I was also scared at first but I also thought… if I just help one person then it was worth being nervous about being public.

  11. Way to go, Mrs. Hope! I don’t know if most readers will appreciate what you’ve been through, but from my perspective, it seems like with all you’ve been through so far, you have given society something you didn’t owe it out of kindness.

    It is letting go of some of the privacy you have left for the benefit of others. I think you’ve already been through more than anyone deserves with all that your body and mind have endured, and all the times you’ve had to tearfully admit to others that infertility has intruded into your life. The indignity of feeling like less of a whole woman until you can be a mother, even though you know that shouldn’t be what completes you but can’t help wanting that fulfillment (and who can blame you?!). Telling others of your journey bravely, giving up some more precious dignity.

    In spite of ALL that, you still want to give of yourself even more. I just don’t think the readers of the story or new readers of your blog will appreciate you enough. You have done yet another selfless thing. You should definitely be proud at this time.

  12. You are very brave, I applaud you for taking the risk and putting yourself out there. I know your story will help others, so you have a lot to be proud of.

    I hope you decide to share it with us and can link to the story.

    Good luck with everything.

  13. You are very brave, I applaud you for taking the risk and putting yourself out there. I know your story will help others, so you have a lot to be proud of.

    I hope you decide to share it with us and can link to the story.

    Good luck with everything.

  14. Glad you are putting yourself out there. I think you’d be surprised how many women will connect with your situation and feel comforted they aren’t alone.

  15. holy cow. that’s awesome. i found coming out freeing and powerful.
    i hope you do too.

  16. You have already helped at least one person through your blog–me. I had my ectopic the same time as you, and it was so comforting to know that there was someone, even if it was someone I didn’t know, who understood what I was going through. I’m still dreaming of babies for both of us.

    I hope you will guide us to or post the article here.

  17. I want to see it too! Post if you can 🙂

  18. It’s fantastic! Good job!

  19. Good for you! That is a great article!

  20. Good for you! That is a great article!

  21. Excellent! It came out really well balanced!

    I haven’t told anyone about my blog (except my H) – I admire you putting yourself out there.

  22. What a great, sympathetic article. Thank you for doing that. And you never said how good looking you are!

    Were you happy with the article?

  23. I am a Acupuncturist in Hopeville. I see women everyday going through what you are. I find that most women are not infertile, but imbalanced. I really enjoyed reading your site. This is a very healing way to deal with all you are going through.

    Thanks for sharing your story. I always suggest that my patients read these stories and it seems to help them to understand. At their request I started a blog off of my website to help women understand the Eastern Medicine thoughts on infertility. You can find it through

  24. Very proud of you, and so glad that the article conveys the issue well. Very interesting that the reporter is a man–or so I am assuming from the name.

    I think a lot of women will benefit from your honesty.

  25. Fantastic, Mrs. Hope. We’re all so proud of you!

  26. Mrs. Hope, Thanks for baring it all and sharing your journey, your light and darkness in the hopes that others will take solace from it. Like I said before, some really good stuff has got to be headed your way.

  27. What a great article! You should be so proud of yourself for this.

  28. First off, you are gorgeous!
    Second, great article. You should be proud.o

  29. I just found your blog tonight…through the article. I am just beginning infertility treatment and it has been so scary, sad and painful. I was one of those silly people who thought that, at age 36, I would be fine and get pregnant in no time. I can’t tell you how powerful the connection is for people like me to discover a community of people like this. I have just started to talk about our “issues” with people I am close to–and it’s hard! “Just relax”, “It will happen”, “I know someone who is 43 and just had a baby…” Your bravery helped me find this community, and even though I’ve only been here reading for 10 minutes, I was so moved and so thrilled to find this world that I had to post. I’ve never even posted before! So cheers to you!

  30. Mrs. Hope,

    The article was right on target. Thank you for sharing your soul and speaking on behalf of all of us who struggle with infertility.

  31. I read your article in the Statesman Sunday and it touched me beyond words. Believe. I will keep you in my prayers. Thank you for sharing your story with women like me who are faced with (secondary) infertility. God bless.

  32. Thank you Mrs. Hope! I just “happened” upon that article this past week while doing my daily search of infertility sites. I had no idea that blogs like yours existed. I’ve never even been to a blog prior to yours. I lurked for a few days reading your entries – crying often because I related so much to your experiences and emotions. This isn’t an easy thing to go through but I have found hope through you. Your honesty has allowed me to realize I am not alone and I can feel the way I do.
    I look forward to reading the happy ending to your story someday.
    Thank you again!

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