it all sucks

I’ve said this to some people in real life, but now I’ll say it here. This isn’t in response to anything in particular, just a general feeling I’ve had.

Infertility sucks. All of it. No matter which “stage” you are in.

Sometimes I feel like there’s a competition out there – who has the saddest story? The most treatment? Whose infertility is “worse” or “worst”?

I remember going to my first RESOLVE meeting and feeling out of place because I didn’t have a failed IVF cycle. It felt like it took my miscarriage-ectopic after IVF #1 to earn my “infertility cred”.

And that sucks.

Every step of this process sucks. It sucks whether or not you ever see a doctor. It sucks if you are young, it sucks if you are in the “older” group. It sucks to take your temperature every morning, it sucks when it seems like everyone but you gets pregnant – whether it’s a babycenter group or an infertility group or in “real” life. That first Clomid cycle sucks. The first beta sucks. Surgery sucks. IVF sucks.

I think the part that sucks the most is that we all feel broken, isolated, scared. And we all feel like our dreams are dying.

It doesn’t matter how many cycles you’ve done or haven’t done.

Infertility sucks.

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~ by Larisa on February 6, 2007.

23 Responses to “it all sucks”

  1. Yes, yes, it does.

    This is not the club any of us thought we’d belong to and I wish we could all get our membership revoked.

  2. Ditto!!!

  3. Dear Lord..

    You so hit the nail on the head.

    Even after all these years, I still cry.

    Thank you for saying this.

  4. I’ve started calling it my involuntary hobby. And it sucks all the way.

  5. I hate everything about it. Except for learning to have more compassion — that’s the one positive. Even so — I’d rather be ignorantly bitchy than learn to have more compassion because the lesson sucks so much.

  6. you’re right, it’s all loss and it all hurts.

  7. I couldn’t have said it better. I keep thinking something good has to come from this but I can’t find anything good in it. None. Nothing! It does all suck!

    Earlier today I sent an email to a friend and wrote “it just sucks.” Somedays no other words can describe it.

  8. Amen! Halleleuia!
    Can I puhlease get a witness?
    You are the preacher, and we’re all in the choir.

    It flat out sucks!

  9. WOW so perfectly spoken!

  10. sucks big time!!!!!

  11. Thank you for saying that. Sometimes I feel like I’m not “infertile enough” because I haven’t done IVF or had a failed cycle. Thank you for writing you felt that way. Now I don’t feel so crazy..:)
    It does suck, I hope we can all overcome it.

  12. Mrs. Hope: Here’s something I wrote back in November that I keep to remind me of where I’ve been. Although I know you know this logically, it’s hard not to feel alone on this journey. But you’re not. I’m thinking of you.

    “How do I feel? Yes, let’s see, how do I feel. An interesting question. How do I
    feel? I’ll tell you how I feel. Although I am happy for her and wish her an easy
    pregnancy and a healthy baby, I feel cheated, angry, jealous, sad, and
    heartbroken. This dream seems more far off than ever before. Why, why, why?
    Tests, tests, and more tests find nothing wrong yet we can’t get to the finish
    line. How do I feel? Hopeless.”

  13. I agree, why compete to see the measure of the suckiness. Infertility sucks and I’m not sure it ever gets easier, it just keeps on sucking.

  14. Amen sister!

  15. I agree, I agree. It sucksk

  16. I agree, I agree. It sucksk

  17. Damn straight…someone who knows what I’m talking about.

  18. OH MY GOD AMEN.

    The whole thing. You think one part of IVF is hard? Just wait until something goes wrong in an area you previously thought of as “safe”.

    Perfect post.

  19. Everything she said.

  20. I second that motion! It all sucks. Each and every step sucks.

  21. Thank you so much for writing this post. I’ve been struggling with feelings of not being “infertile enough” to feel a part of this community, yet really needing the support and feeling quite guilty about it. What you wrote is absolutely brilliant–and it means so much to me at this particular point in time.

  22. Thank you so much for writing this post. I’ve been struggling with feelings of not being “infertile enough” to feel a part of this community, yet really needing the support and feeling quite guilty about it. What you wrote is absolutely brilliant–and it means so much to me at this particular point in time.

  23. Amen! I second that! I’m happy to have stumbled upon your blog.

    When can I cut up my memebership card?

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