back to Plan A

So I went for our millionth cervical experiment on Friday.

The Colorado doctors swear that this is the answer. You do the laminaria during lupron but before bleeding begins and before stims. So approximately 3 weeks before retrieval and/or transfer.

I’ve personally told that Colorado doctor that it wouldn’t work. He didn’t believe me. Guess who was right?

Not that I want to be. And I will say that my doctor was able to get the Tomcat catheter through my cervix a little easier than typical. But 25 minutes later we still never really succeeded with the Wallace. And, by that time, there was blood all over the thing. And I was just working at not being a blubbering mess.

So we go back to March of a year ago. We dilate my cervix at retrieval. We do a Day 3 transfer.

And I try to dream of real babies. Not ectopic nightmares.

We are going to cycle pretty soon. I’m not sure how I’m feeling about posting all the details here. This last cycle was such a heart-breaker. We’ll see.

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~ by Larisa on March 24, 2007.

14 Responses to “back to Plan A”

  1. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. We are all still hoping for you and cheering you on even if you don’t share all the details.

  2. My god. You are perhaps one of the toughest people I know. I so admire your fortitude.

    I think your plan is a good one – you got pregnant before – it’s just a matter of getting the embryo in the right place. It will work. It WILL work. At least I’ll be sending those thoughts your way.

  3. Ugh, you’ve tried so hard with this, it is just rotten that there seems to be no good answer. Wish this was easier (would it help if you had a GA during transfer so that at least you can’t feel anything? I think that’s what amanda did).

  4. So sorry you were right. I wish you the best this cycle.

  5. You totally amaze me! I think I would have died. We are here to cheer you on!

  6. You totally amaze me! I think I would have died. We are here to cheer you on!

  7. Oops! I accidentally misread Thursday’s post and thought you were actually going to try another laminaria. It slipped my mind that it had been 3 wks since your last. Though I know it must have been uncomfortable and frustrating to have to try the catheter again, I am glad you can cross that off your list for good. Plan A almost worked. Hopefully, now, with your RE familiararity with everything, the “almost” will be less likely to happen.
    I could imagine it would be difficult to post all the details after last cycle. I’ll be happy to just keep on hoping, details or not. I’m sorry that there is no straightforward protocol. I wish the research pointed directly at one approach, but I am glad you are using your intuition as a guide as well. Sometimes, science or no science, it is dead on, even against the expertise of big, famous Colorado Doctors.

  8. Being a guinea pig sucks.
    Being right sucks.

  9. (shudder) Sometimes your descriptions remind me more of Holocaust-esque torture instead of fertility treatments.

    Onward to the next cycle, and may it be successful and the last! *raising glass to toast one tough chica*

    Post when you can and when you want–never out of needless guilt.

  10. I am glad you have a plan…those always make me feel tons better. Hopefully this is the one.

  11. Whatever you decide, we’re here.

    I’m sorry there has to be so much pain involved in this. It’s not fair.

    Please God, no more nightmares for Mrs. Hope. Only dreams come true.
    -D.

  12. I’ll echo Dramalish’s prayer.

    The last thing on your mind should be how you’ll record the treatment cycle. Don’t even worry a teeny tiny bit about the bloggy friends. We get it no matter which route you take.

  13. I’ll echo Dramalish’s prayer.

    The last thing on your mind should be how you’ll record the treatment cycle. Don’t even worry a teeny tiny bit about the bloggy friends. We get it no matter which route you take.

  14. I’m sorry that this continues to be so hard. WHY? WHY? WHY?

    You are indeed one tough chick.

    Do what you need to do re: blogging. We’re here for you no matter what.

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