Serenity posted about waiting, and Melissa is making her second blilt about waiting.

Waiting describes this experience for me to a tee. It’s the title of this blog for a reason. You wait to try to have a baby, you wait each month to (hopefully) not get your period, you wait the obligatory year to see a specialist even though you are sure there is something wrong much earlier than that.

Just that part of the journey can take years.

Then begins the waiting to get in to see the RE, the waiting for each test result, the waiting in the waiting room, the waiting half-naked in the exam room, the waiting to see what the doctor will say, the waiting for the return phone calls, and more hopeful waiting for your period to not show.

Then there are delays and surgeries and waiting to ovulate after cysts because you weren’t allowed to cycle. There are big gaps that are marked by weeks and months. And there are smaller gaps that are marked by hours or days.

You wait to begin that IVF cycle. You wait to find out the fertilization report. You wait to find out how the embryos look. You wait to find out if it worked (some of us seem to wait to find out it failed, again). Then you wait for another cycle or the follow-up appointment or the 2nd beta.

And even if you stop doing ART, you still wait. Maybe you wait during the adoption process. Maybe you go back to waiting each month for your miracle.

We wait for that cycle where we don’t get our periods. We wait for that 2nd line. We wait for that heartbeat.

We wait to become mothers.

And as we wait, time ticks on. And the babies of others are born, roll over, sit up, walk, run, talk.

And still we wait. We wait so long that we start to wonder if we can anymore. But still we wait.

What else is there when the dream is so important?

~ by Larisa on April 15, 2007.

12 Responses to “waiting”

  1. Great post! I know I’m sick of the waiting game, too. I’m still in the first quarter of the game and you’re in like triple OT and it doesn’t seem to get any easier.

    I still admire your courage.

  2. Oh so good. I used to be good at waiting and now it is driving me nuts.

  3. Yes, Mrs. Hope. This IF thing is all about “hurry up and wait.” I just hope you get to do a different kind of waiting soon.
    And then there is the community that waits right along with you, counting down the days, hoping for the best, waiting to read the post on your site that they want to read more than anything else. But I don’t think I would be so eager to wait if I didn’t feel so hopeful that your dream will someday arrive. So we are all waiting, in different capacities, but waiting still. And I’ve brought a lot of hope along for sustenance.

  4. One thing is for sure – waiting sucks. You just said it more eloquently than that.

  5. Waiting. And praying. And hoping. There are soooo many hurdles. It’s amazing any of us remain sane.

  6. Ain’t it the truth. Great post.

    If nothing else, maybe I’ve learned a little patience through all of this. I see no evidence of this increased patience, but I keep hoping (and waiting…)

    Good luck with your cycle!

  7. This is so true. Waiting is the torture getting in the in the way of our lives but we can’t get off the waiting wheel…I think it goes back to your point on addictions!

  8. and waiting and waiting and waiting…what a great post. you made me weep a bit in my tea. not in a bad way, but because you so eloquently captured what we all feel.

  9. so true. hope your wait ends soon.

  10. Absolutely beautiful post. Waiting is painful.

  11. The waiting is one of the worst parts. And someone once wrote about how they were wishing parts of their life away. And how life is so short, and it hurts tremendously to spend years in a cycle of wishing away two week intervals.

    Well said, Mrs. Hope.

  12. The waiting never ends…we are always waiting for something. But this something is so important we can’t do anything but wait.

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