living in this moment

What do you write when the thing you want more than anything else begins to come true?

I’m so thankful, so relieved, so excited to be here. To be in this place that I’d begun to think might be impossible. Holding my own hope and feeling it grow bolder.

I’m trying to take this in one day at a time. Today is a good day. Today I am…pregnant. Tears are running down my cheeks just typing that sentence. Tears of joy. And tears as if typing it will jinx this.

Staying in this moment, in this day is easier said than done. There are so many days to come, so many what ifs. Some are fun. Some aren’t. It’s a slippery slope that can have me imagining a baby or another ectopic.

This is one of those times where maybe ignorance would be bliss. Where I could just believe that somehow, some way all this struggle will be worth it.

So I’m trying, trying, trying to focus on today. It’s really all I can do.


~ by Larisa on May 16, 2007.

24 Responses to “living in this moment”

  1. I am teary reading this post. You are in a wonderful place right now. Try not to think about the negatives, just focus on those babies. And a big congratulations to you, almost-mommy.

  2. You are so right, just take it at one day, one moment at a time. When do you know more about numbers or an ultrasound to see if it is one or two babies. Take it easy and just be.

  3. Absolutely.
    The relief almost outweighs the joy.
    I pinch myself so much I am bruised & know exactly how you are feeling.

  4. and you will be feeling like this for a long long time…im 10 weeks and still cant believe that i am pregnant. it seems so surreal.
    every ultrasound, every doctor appointment, it will be in the back of our head that something is wrong. we cant be ‘normal’ pregnant people, but ill take this over not being pregnant:)

  5. I am so very happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world, and you should enjoy this moment!

  6. It is all you can do is focus on the moment and at this moment you’re pregnant. It is so surreal to be pregnant after IVF, it never seems real. I’m so happy for you!

  7. one day at a time is all you can do, though i know it’s hard. revel in the joy… i’m really happy for you.

  8. Just beaming with joy for you! Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the day..and I know you will enjoy the next 9 months!

  9. Thanks for hanging in there. Your story gives hope to all of us.

  10. Thanks for hanging in there. Your story gives hope to all of us.

  11. All you can do is take one day at a time. I so hope that you only get happy news from here on out.

  12. It is all you can do, but it sure isn’t easy.
    Then again, this kind of excitement can lead to something so wonderful.

  13. You have been waiting for these special moments for so long. Enjoy them. Let your hope build, and grow, and become bold!

  14. I wish for you that you may enjoy every moment of this pregnancy, without being flattened by all of the bad “what-ifs” that will inevitably swirl around your brain. Enjoy the new life growing within you.

  15. So, SO thrilled for you. moment by moment, I’m rooting for you.

  16. Beautiful!

  17. I am tremendously proud of your courage and strength. Those babies are in the best place in the world. Love them each and every moment and focus on the joys. You are amazing!

  18. I’ve only just begun reading in the last few weeks. What an amazing time to join your story! Thanks for sharing. I wish you luck, peace, and happiness.

  19. Congratulations!!! I am so very happy for you!!!!!

  20. it WILL be worth it!!!!

  21. This cycle, I mean, this *pregnancy*, is truly headed for a happy ending. Those babies won’t really reach reality point until you’re holding your first one; ooh, I can’t wait to see a picture of you holding your first baby!! Amazing, amazing day that is only 8 months away!

  22. It’s normal to be anxious when you’ve been through so much. It will take time to feel safe, for now, one step at a time is a great pace. Good Luck

  23. i’m so extremely happy for you…i can tell hubby this time i’m crying tears of joy! CONGRATS! and yes ENJOY it all. enjoy what you know NOW and live in the NOW. you deserve it!

  24. What wonderful news Mrs. Hope!

    Congrats and best of luck with everything…YAY!!

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