I saw someone was worried because I hadn’t updated. The spotting has continued – all brown, thank goodness, I suppose. If I had to choose, I’d clearly choose no spotting. But if I had to choose, I’d choose a lot of other things differently, too.

I did get my blood drawn again on Friday. My hCG climbed at a decent clip.

hCG: 4639 (doubling time of 59 hours)
P4: 420.7 (off of all supplementation)
E2: 4600 (approximately)

I’m not sure what Mr. Hope and I feel. We’re so glad it increased well. But we’re still so scared that Tuesday’s scan could be bad news. I want them both to stay so much – there simply aren’t words adequate to express how much. But I’m teetering between belief and terror.

I didn’t want to live in fear these early weeks of pregnancy. But then scary stuff happens, and it feels like the rug was pulled out from under me. I’m trying my best.

About 65 hours until the scan.

~ by Larisa on May 26, 2007.

15 Responses to “update”

  1. I am so sorry you have to go through this…

  2. Things are still sounding hopeful…thanks for updating šŸ™‚

  3. I thought the spotting was just some leftover cysts sending down brown. If you can do this, I can too. I’m praying for you more than you know. You’ll have your 2 girls.


  4. Thank you for updating–I had been silently hoping that you would this weekend. I’m glad things are still swinging in the right direction; my thoughts will continue to be with all of you. *hugs*


  5. Hang on little ones. Glad to see the numbers jump. You’ve not been here before – and let yourself feel wonderful about what you have accomplished. Easier said then done….You are awesome!

  6. Hang on little ones. Glad to see the numbers jump. You’ve not been here before – and let yourself feel wonderful about what you have accomplished. Easier said then done….You are awesome!

  7. Things are sounding good. Hang in there a couple more days and hopefully the scan will bring you more information and, as a result, a little peace of mind. I will continue to send my hopes out there for you. You are STRONG!

  8. Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and anxiously waiting with you. EmH

  9. Aw, I just want to give you a hug right now. Not because I’m scared for you, I’m just tired of you having to wonder and be on the edge of your seat about what’s coming next (and I don’t blame you!). I think you will definitely have a chance to enjoy your pregnancy. Congrats on the increasing numbers! I will keep both of those precious ones in my prayers.

  10. I’m glad the doubling time improved so much. Please, let more good news come…

  11. It’s a shame that we infertiles have such a hard time enjoying pregnancy, once we finally get there. I was terrified at first, too. But it does sound like everything is going very well, so I hope that makes it easier for you to stay positive. Tuesday, come quickly!

  12. I am counting down the hours until Tuesday. I can imagine you have been dreaming of this scan, waiting your turn for it for so long, and I can only hope it is everthing you had ever imagined and then some.

    Please, oh please, oh please

  13. good luck with the scan tomorrow. i don’t think we can help but worry after waiting for this for so long and having become so used to failure and disappointment. in time the fears fade, but i think all moms-to-be have them. its part of the package.

  14. I wanted to let you know I was here.. šŸ™‚ Still hoping and praying for you sweetie!

  15. I know how scary this time is, I’m anxiously awaiting how the scan went today. All is sounding good, all fingers and toes crossed!

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