about 12 hours

That’s how much peace yesterday morning’s scan got me. I actually got brave on a mall trip late yesterday afternoon and entered a baby store.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I was at ob/gyn friend’s house last night (thank goodness for that). Had to pee (not so uncommon right now).

There were two bright red spots on my underwear. I stayed calm. Then drip…drip…drip. Wipe. Lots of bright red blood. I yelled, “BRIGHT RED BLOOD!” from the bathroom. Flow. More and more bright red blood. And lots and lots of fear.

We rushed to my friend’s office – where I’d just been this morning – where she did an ultrasound. Baby was still alive, moving, and had a good heart rate.

No really apparent source of the blood – one edge of the placenta is very close to the opening of the cervix, but she said it didn’t appear abrupted. My cervix was still long and closed. She did a cervix check and didn’t see any active bleeding.

The bleeding has slowed to reddish-brownish spotting at this point. While I’m relieved that we still saw a live baby, I’m absolutely terrified. I slept about 3 hours and haven’t gotten a wink since.

She’s prescribed “modified bed rest”. Maybe another u/s this weekend, and certainly one on Monday.

I’ve tried so hard to get here. I’ve tried so hard to enjoy what I can. But the rug keeps getting pulled out from under me. I’m scared. I’m angry.

I just want a break. I just want a healthy baby. I just want everything to be ok.


~ by Larisa on July 7, 2007.

14 Responses to “about 12 hours”

  1. First — I’m glad the baby is doing well.

    What the hell is going on??? That was an evil trick your body pulled on you. You deserve an easy pregnancy. You deserve to just be happy. I hope everything settles in and the pregnancy just proceeds without weird interruptions.

  2. This sucks. Pregnancy should not be torture. While everyone else’s pregnancies seem to fly by, and you get to watch them enjoy every minute, yours seems to be crawling and every minute of it is scary as hell.

  3. All I can say is Hugs sweetie….I understand that fear and it is pure torture. I am glad you got to see that things are still okay and I hope they stay that way.

  4. Damn. That just isn’t right. I’m so thankful that you were with your friend so she could get you right into the office and you could see the baby is fine. I hope it continues.

  5. Wow. Well, for anyone who was telling you to stop worrying, they need to clam up for sure!

    That said, I’m glad baby is still doing great. I’m glad the bleeding happened at your OB friend’s house. I’m glad the bleeding has slowed down and hopefully will stop.

    I just read your last three posts as I returned from vacation, and I’m so excited that your baby is doing so well.

    I wish someone out there would do research on first trimester spotting and identify a multiplicity of harmless causes. It seems like right now all you have to go back to is, well, it’s either harmless or awful, with no specific reasons for the harmless in the majority of cases. Cysts bursting maybe? Maybe some vascular cervical or vaginal condition that just flares up? It would be nice to know *why* even when it’s harmless.

  6. Hoping and praying that all goes well and you can just be at peace…finally…you deserve it!
    Jen H.

  7. oh, Mrs. Hope! i know how absolutely scary that can be. it’s $%^&* unfair that you just can’t enjoy what should be an enjoyable experience.

    i know other people’s experience don’t help much when you’re going through your own but if it helps any i had the same thing happen when i was pregnant with my first. i believe i was only 9wks. i know it was early in the pregnancy. i went to wipe and it felt/looked like a period. i immediately freaked out and we rushed to the ER. they did a scan and showed the baby flipping around doing a-ok. they never could tell me what the problem was. unfortunately, things like that happen.

    again, i’m so sorry things are easier. you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. What a change of events. Lots of hugs to you and I so hope the bleeding is absolutely nothing. I hope you can take it nice and easy this weekend and that this resolves quickly. Thank goodness you were with your friend last night.



    This totally sucks. While I am so glad to hear that the baby is doing ok, I am ALL for having you get a break from the fear and worry.

    Hugs hon. Hang in there.

    I’m thinking of you.

  10. How terrifying! Thank God baby appeared to be OK. And thank God this happened at your ob/gyn friend’s house so you could rush in for a scan. I am going to consider that a sign from the universe that everything is going to be OK.

    Please, please, please … be OK.

    I had some cervical bleeding while PG, and was told that when PG the cervix becomes more “friable” (I think that’s what the word was), meaning that it’s just full of blood vessels and the slightest irritation can cause bleeding. Which, of course, is terrifying. Hoping it’s something that simple for you.

    Praying for you here.

  11. Thank goodness you were at your friends house, I am praying for you and that your baby keeps growing.
    Grow baby grow!!

  12. It’s just so bloody terrifying, I’m sorry. But many of us have had it and things have been ok afterwards. I do hope it’s all stopped now and stays stopped.

  13. I’m sorry you’ve had yet another scare. How wonderful that your OB friend was there for comfort & assurance that the baby is still happy & active. 🙂 My thoughts continue to be with you.


  14. Thanks for your posting about this. I had read the posts in the last few days, which really helped me stay calm & positive when I came up with bright red blood early this morning. No panic here; you helped make that possible.

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