telling and the club

So we went to Dallas this weekend and told my ILs. They were thrilled, and everyone immediately wanted to shop, shop, shop. It was really too much for me. I’m really glad we waited to tell them – if the shopping trip we undertook on Saturday had happened 4 weeks earlier instead of at 16 weeks, I probably would have had a complete meltdown. Tears and all. But I survived, and I managed to get them to buy very little.

The mommy-to-be club. That’s what I saw a bit of on Saturday. It’s a club of knowing glances. A club I’m supposed to belong to, but I’m not sure I’ll ever feel comfortable in.

SIL/MIL would tell anyone who would look our way that I was 4 months pregnant. To which the inevitable response was, “No way!”, “Impossible!”, or “You’re too skinny!” Way to make an infertile girl feel better, people. They would then confirm with my due date and continue to look surprised. Then they’d ask if it was my first and exchange all-knowing glances with the veterans around us. Then I would get an all-knowing “welcome to the club” and “enjoy your freedom while you still can” comment or look.

We went in to a maternity store, where MIL immediately raced to the sales rack that was an additional 50% off and just started picking stuff up. Stuff that I would never wear, pregnant or not. Two suits, several pairs of dress slacks. Um, I’m a t-shirt and jeans girl. Yes, even when I’m working. Speech therapy on the floor with a two year old does not equal black dress slacks. She said – but you go out for dinner at night! Not in a suit. I managed to get out with one ruffle-free normal looking t-shirt. Which they made me try on with one of those fake bellies. And I mean MADE me try it on. They had everyone in the store, including some other woman’s husband telling me to try it on.

I’m glad they are excited. I’m so thankful to be sitting at 16 weeks pregnant.

But they’ll never comprehend my reservations. They’ll never understand my need to take this slow. SIL said, “I feel like I’m getting gypped – like I’ve missed out on some of the fun because you waited so long to tell us.”

It’s not them that misses out on the “fun”. It’s me. It’s because of IF.

And they’ll never quite get that.

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~ by Larisa on August 6, 2007.

8 Responses to “telling and the club”

  1. It’s still a bit lonely, isn’t it? I find myself biting my tongue just as much now as ever because “they” will never get that.

  2. Did they start in with picking names and decorating a nursery and do you want a boy or a girl? I can only imagine all of the squirming you were doing.

    Hang in there!

  3. You’re right. They won’t get it.

    You’ve been through SO much to get here… and it’s not like you’ve had the easiest pregnancy thus far, either.

    But maybe in a little while some of the excitement will rub off on you. Just a little.

    *hug*

  4. gosh, you conveyed all those feelings and fears so well with this post. you’re right, they just won’t ever understand. but i found it somewhat easier to swallow after i truly realized that fact.

  5. gosh, you conveyed all those feelings and fears so well with this post. you’re right, they just won’t ever understand. but i found it somewhat easier to swallow after i truly realized that fact.

  6. I’m glad that you were able to indulge just a little bit (even if you were absolutely forced by the wrecking ball that is family).

    IF does seem to be the gift that keeps on giving (damn). Hopefully soon you will be able to wear this pregnancy as comfortable as that t-shirt and jeans. By the way – WHO wears a suit to dinner??!?
    🙂

  7. I’m proud of you for making it through that experience without running for the hills screaming.
    They won’t get it, ever. But letting their enthousiasm envelop you for a while is a good thing.

  8. I”m a little behind reading this, but this is really well written. We miss out cuz we’re IF.

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