looking forward

I’ve been a bad, bad blogger. Not writing and barely reading. Sorry. I had another BPP last week; all appeared well. I passed the one hour GTT, but I’m slightly anemic. I knew that was coming because I take a prenatal without iron. So I’ve added an iron supplement.

This year, this holiday season is different. I was in Target the other day and meandered over to their fresh holiday display. In the past few years, I would have avoided it like the plague. But I let myself fawn over the ornaments and wrapping paper.

Looking forward in the midst of infertility treatments is different. It’s black and unknown and if you look too far ahead you see the answer we all dread: that none of it will work. Ever.

But now, looking forward means things like daydreaming about a stocking with her name on it. Much, much prettier pictures. It’s still unknown, but it’s so much easier to paint the future in color.

Not that this happened the instant I took that first test. It’s taken time and work and lots of fretting and doctor’s appointments. But Thanksgiving will be good this year – with so much to be thankful for. And Christmas will be lovely (and we don’t have to travel).

I’m looking forward to the future. It’s painted in color. It’s got a tiny little girl in it that will (and already has) fill our hearts and our home.

~ by Larisa on November 6, 2007.

No Responses Yet to “looking forward”

  1. The holidays will certainly be much nicer this year… and they will surely continue to get better and better. Your phrase, “it’s so much easier to paint the future in color,” is so apropos. Lovely prose, truly.

  2. Glad that you are able to look forward to the holidays this year. Thinking of you.

  3. Hoping you have the best holiday ever!

  4. I’m so happy for you. You so deserve this!

  5. Beautiful post…

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