disbelief

I’ve been feeling the need to pinch myself lately. Is this really my life?

I held a baby. On Friday, Lindsey’s Emery entered the world. And I couldn’t wait to meet her. It’s the first time I’ve held a baby in about 21 months.

She’s simply beautiful. Holding a baby girl while I was one day shy of 30 weeks pregnant with a baby girl had so much meaning tied to it. That we probably have 8 weeks at most before meeting our little girl. That, surreal as it is, the wriggling baby in my belly will be here, probably sooner than I can really imagine. It’s completely different being on the labor and delivery floor not wondering if I would ever be there as a patient. I will be there as a patient. I will be there as a mother. Chills all over, people.

There’s an infant car seat and stroller in my house. In my house. The baby shower is this weekend, and my aunt can’t attend, so she sent them. A baby shower. I bought girly little baby thank you notes.

There aren’t words to express just how thankful I am to be here. To sit here at 30 weeks, 4 days thinking that things might actually be ok. Impossible and incredible all in one breath.

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~ by Larisa on November 12, 2007.

No Responses Yet to “disbelief”

  1. That’s so wonderful!!! I can only imagine at this point what it would feel like to hold a baby while one is kicking in your tummy!

  2. And you rightly deserve that stroller, that car seat, that crib, every little bit. It will be here before you know it and we are all anxiously awaiting BabyHope’s arrival with you. 🙂

  3. What a great feeling that must be!!! Gosh … your almost 31 weeks. WOW time flies! Have a great day!!!

  4. So amazing! Enjoy your shower!

  5. Enjoy!

  6. I’m so glad the reality is setting in. You will be a mother. A really good one, too. And soon.
    Counting down the weeks with delight that it is finally your turn.

  7. I remember feeling the same way! It is amazing to think that you are finally HERE!
    After Grace was born and the nurse was wheeling me down to the lobby to go home, I remember tearing up and it almost felt like an out-of-body experience! It was so amazing to realize that I had actually given birth to this perfect little life and was able to take her HOME and ‘play house’.
    I’m so excited for you for these last few weeks of your pregnancy–soak it all up, girl! 🙂
    Jen

  8. I am so happy you beat the endo! 🙂

  9. I can imagine how you feel vividly!

    Enjoy your baby shower!

  10. What a beautiful post, Mrs. Hope. You will find that disbelief becomes even more pronounced when you meet your sweet little girl. And then, a short time later, you will wonder how you ever lived without her. Enjoy the next two months. What a joyful holiday season this will be for you guys.

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