There’s so much to write about, but it all seems trite given the losses in the blogosphere lately.
I never felt that survivor’s guilt thing while pregnant. Maybe because I think I did “deserve” it. But I can’t help but somehow feel a little guilty while reading Our Own Creation or Not According to Plan lately. I’ve made it to the end, through the scary and wonderful pregnancy, and they did not. My BabyHope can sleep on my chest; Lennox, Zoe, Sylvia, Claire, and Lucy sleep forever.

I feel like a walking “priceless” commercial. You know, 4 rounds of IVF + drugs = $35,000 plus 6 months at Kinko’s. Hundreds of shots = worth it. Holding BabyHope and listening to her rhythmic breathing = priceless.

Somehow we made it. Somehow they didn’t. And it’s not fair. Nothing about infertility is fair, but losses like these seem too cruel to be true. And why does it seem to happen to those that have struggled so much?

~ by Larisa on February 7, 2008.

No Responses Yet to “unfair”

  1. The tragedies are always overwhelming. Everything about IF is grossly unfair.

  2. It is just so horrible when you hear about such tragedy. In some ways, I felt like a voyeur as I did not read either blog before. It was such a terrible loss. You wish that you could do something, but there is nothing adequate to say.

  3. Those stories are heartbreaking. It makes no sense that some us get to have our dreams come true, while other, no-less-deserving people have to live through the unthinkable. Spanglish said it … everything about IF is grossly unfair. I just gave my own miracle son a huge hug after I read those stories.

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