moment to moment

I’ve probably written something like this before, but maybe I haven’t.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how we get where we get in life. How each moment is the result of a previous moment. Each decision is colored by an experience or a belief or a previous action.

I still don’t believe in “fate”. It doesn’t work that way for me. I didn’t stumble upon Mr. Hope via dumb luck; I moved away from home at 15 to go to a school because I didn’t want to stay where I was. And he did the same thing, maybe for slightly different reasons.

Somehow we made decisions and took turns that led us to BabyHope. In this moment, I’m thankful we went through all we did to get to her. I’m thankful it took so much effort.

I used to wonder “why me?” And sometimes I still do.

But most of the time I know. It was so that we could have BabyHope. So she could have us. So that my heart could burst from happiness instead breaking of sadness.

It was so we could appreciate this life and our little family more than strangers can ever imagine. It was so I could watch Mr. Hope become a father. It was so he could watch me become a mother. And it was so we could watch our daughter grow.

We didn’t know at the time that each decision would lead to another, and another, and another that would get us here. But they did.

And here we are.

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~ by Larisa on May 28, 2008.

No Responses Yet to “moment to moment”

  1. Your daughter is just precious! Congrats! I often wonder too – why me and what did I do wrong to get infertility. Then I also find the silver lining – I am a better friends, sister, daughter, wife, mom, person because and in spite of IF! NCLM

  2. Being happy with was is, is a good place to be. I am happy for you.

  3. I think about this often and your words eloquently displayed my thoughts…..so thank you for posting this!

    Sometimes I wish I were able to think about this when I am in the midst of one of those thoughts, turns or decisions….in the end it all works out in most cases….

    In your case you have one of the yummiest little girls I have ever seen.

  4. Your daughter is so beautiful and your story sounds familiar to mine. My family moved across the country when I was 15. I started a new life, met my soul mate (I kinda do believe in fate) and had my daughter Ella through IVF. I often think as well, that all the things we have done brought us to where we are and the person I am today….And I wouldnt change a thing. Its nice to see a post I can relate too!

  5. Here from NaComLeavMo. Love the pics of your daughter! She’s so cute! Interesting thoughts about fate and decisions.

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