the boob wars have ended

We’re done. She’s screamed at my breasts for the last time. Someone wiser than me said a few weeks ago that I’d know I was done when I felt at peace with it.

I do.

I worked really hard at this breastfeeding thing. My initial plan was to breast feed BabyHope for a year. But that was before the screaming, refusals, weight gain issues, and her apparent general dislike of the breast that began somewhere around 2 months of age.

We battled off and on for about four months. I told Mr. Hope that there would be no more epic battles. That the next time it became a battle, breastfeeding was simply going to come to an end.

So Saturday morning at 1:33AM was the last time she latched on. She didn’t really want to, and she yelled at me for a bit before obliging.

Then in the morning, without screaming, she simply refused the breast. And happily sucked down four ounces in about three minutes from a bottle.

And that’s when I knew for sure. Feeding her is what’s important; how that food is delivered is not. There were no tears of angst about whether or not this was the right decision. It was; it is.

I’m still pumping; at least 75% of what she is consuming is breast milk. But that won’t continue forever, either. I’m trying to transition her gently to formula.

I did my sheer, honest-to-goodness best at this. And I think I made it further than many women would have.

~ by Larisa on June 22, 2008.

No Responses Yet to “the boob wars have ended”

  1. you said it best…it’s feeding her that’s important.

    now, enjoy your little joy and leave the boob for the pump.

  2. Congratulations on getting as far as you have done! BabyHope will thank you for it.

  3. Happy Momma, Happy Baby! Congrats for being at peace and OMG, still pumping!! I hated pumping 🙂

  4. Girl…my hat is off to you. I think you did great. I know you are doing a terrific job wit her…she is a beautiful healthy baby and you have made the right choices for you all.

    Give her hugs for me!!

  5. You’ve been amazing. 🙂 Congratulations on making it so far. 🙂

  6. You have done a great job, Mrs. Hope. You will enjoy her babyhood so much more without the stress of the constant feeding battles.

  7. Hooray for you for so many things:
    1) Sticking it out this long
    2) Continuing to pump
    4) Everything else

    I’m glad you feel at peace. You’ve earned it.

  8. Good job in making it this far and congrats on being at peace with your decision. No need to beat yourself up one bit!

  9. You’ve done fantastic, Mrs. Hope. I’m really amazed at how long you’ve stuck with it. Well done.

  10. Good for you for not dragging it out longer then necessary just to make a point. I’m glad you’re at peace with your decision and everyone is happy.

  11. The same thing happened to me. One night, Luke just refused. So, now I pump and he gets a little formula at night. I didn’t realize how much it was stressing me out until I stopped.

  12. I truly admire your strength and perseverance. To hear that you are at peace with things is great. No matter how hard it has been, BabyHope has benefited from your efforts and will continue to do so.

    *I might be knocking on your door soon for bf advice…

  13. You gave it a shot, that’s all you can do. It’s more important that she get SOMETHING!

    Here via NCLM

  14. My take from this post is that you don’t even need any of these comments to reassure you (though I’m sure they are bonus).

    For trying your best, for finding your peace, for transitioning with grace, I’m really proud of you.

  15. You are an incredibly strong mother and waiting until you just knew it was the right thing to do will go miles with BabyHope. I admire your perseverance!

  16. I remember having some of the same issues with Christian. I worried he wouldn’t take to the formula well once the pumping was over. He transitioned to formula like a duck to water. You did a great job!!!

  17. You did a great job and BabyHope will continue to do great regardless of how she is fed. I’m glad you are at peace with your decision.

  18. You’ll all be much happier!
    You’ll find she may even sleep longer as well 😉 I love your confidence. Congrats on making the hard decisions that work best for you and her 🙂

  19. Wow, I can’t add much to what everyone else has said, but kudos for doing it as long as you did. You are a great mom!

  20. I’m glad you were able to give it your all and that you know what’s best for your situation. I guess it’s one of those examples of parenthood one can’t plan for – the baby’s own ideas, wants and abilities.

  21. You are one tough cookie. You worked at it a lot longer than most women did! I’m glad you are happy with your decision, and BabyHope will be happier at her feedings. I hope you enjoy feeding her more now!

  22. Congratulations for having fed her for such a long time! It is what it is. Zoey only had weeks at the breast, and the guilt disappeared fairly quickly.

    You’re an amazing mom. She’s an amazing kid.

  23. My mom always said as long as you did your best, you could be proud no matter what the result. I think that you did a great job. Congratulations on making it that long!

    Thank you for stopping today. I am very nervous about that beta number, most people’s seem so much higher! Knowing yours was similar makes it easier to make it through to tomorrow. Thanks again!

  24. You did so good. I’m also struggling with BFing–mostly supply issues. It is awesome that you are so at peace with your decision. That’s a healthy mental attitude–you did your best, and you moved on.

  25. You did AMAZINGLY. It’s easy to feel as if you failed because you didn’t make it however long, but you did GREAT.

    One of the most reassuring things someone (who’d EBFed her daughter for two years) said to me after my chronic supply issues, constant pumping, etc. caused me to call it quits was that she would have quit long before I had if she’d had those same issues.

    It’s easy for the Internets to make you feel bad about not BFing for X amount of time, but most real, live people will make you feel appropriately proud.

    So pat yourself on the back! You rock!

  26. Congrats for making it this far and you know what.. I admire you for giving it your all.

    P.S. Thanks for posting a few posts ago about the lens you use. That lens is my next investment!

  27. I recognize the feeling. For months I battled to get supply up, which wouldn’t climb at all despite my daughters enthusiasm for the breast.
    I supplemented with an SNS but when it was time to go back to work I let it go.

    You’ve gone above and beyond what most women do. You have every right to be proud of what you’ve accomplished.

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