tempting fate?

So we’re not anywhere close to another cycle. But I think about those embryos we’ve got on ice, and I know I’ve written about them before.

I’m just going to put it out there that it would be nice if one of them would “work out”.

But there’s this other part of me that’s scared about them. That wonders if it’s a good idea to do the whole “fertility” thing again. The whole pregnancy thing again. It wasn’t exactly easy the first time.

There’s a part of me that thinks – maybe it would be okay if 1 or 2 or 3 frozen transfers didn’t work. And maybe it would be okay if we never did another fresh cycle if those frozen embryos aren’t viable.

I know too much about pregnancy – about the risks and the scares. I know too much about the emotional hell I lived during treatment. It would be nice in some ways to never venture to either of those places again. It would be nice to be “done” with all of this.

But then I look at BabyHope. And of course I want another chance. Another member of our family.

And then I naively think: maybe it will be easier the second time around. Ha.

~ by Larisa on August 10, 2008.

No Responses Yet to “tempting fate?”

  1. Oh how I’m feeling this right now too. Not sure if it is b/c Cooper’s growing up, or b/c the reality of our future is setting in. It is so hard to know what to do, but man how I want to have a plan. It’s funny how he (and my pregnancy w/ him) change mind every day, multiple times a day. It will all work out for you guys somehow; it’s just hard to not know how.

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