revisiting an old issue

Julie’s post about breastfeeding (or not) really hit home with me. I posted that we stopped, and that I was at peace with it.

But I kept wanting to come here and say…BUT. BUT I’m still pumping. BUT I did try a few times after that last time to get her to latch – and sometimes she did and sometimes she didn’t – she always looked at me like I was crazy. I’m not pumping anymore. And it feels great.

Mr. Hope didn’t and still doesn’t get what all the fuss was about. He thinks formula is just fine, no concerns for him whatsoever. He was formula fed, end of discussion, thankyouverymuch.

It’s that mommy guilt thing. I felt guilty for stopping, even though a weight flew off my shoulders the minute I decided we were done. I felt guilty for stopping, while at the same time I felt guilty because I didn’t stop sooner.

I know I made the right decision, even though my mother “doesn’t believe in bottles”.

BabyHope doesn’t scream before, during, or after eating anymore. And she hasn’t since that week I switched to bottles. The only time she fusses is if she sees the bottle and I don’t get it in her mouth quickly enough. I believe in bottles for BabyHope. For whatever reason, that’s what she needs.


~ by Larisa on August 22, 2008.

No Responses Yet to “revisiting an old issue”

  1. I stopped breastfeeding Sunday night. She latched on for about 10 seconds, screamed, looked at Daddy holding the bottle, and screamed some more. I gave her to Daddy and said that this is probably the last time I’m breastfeeding. The last month was spent weaning ME from breastfeeding, not her. Richard also doesn’t get why it is so hard to stop, both of us were given formula, blah, blah, blah. I tell him I just can’t explain it. I felt guilty for stopping up until the minute I stopped. Because it was all about me not being ready.

    I bought a new REAL bra on Wednesday and we are going out for Margaritas tonight. Something I haven’t had since mid-2006!

  2. I’m glad your hub supports your decision and to me, just trusting your gut is all that matters. Well, that and the fact that BabyHope seems to be perfectly content and happy! And you did SIX MONTHS! That’s awesome. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re a great mom.
    Oh yeah, I was formula fed. So see? šŸ™‚

  3. I struggled to breastfeed. Supply just would not go up anywhere near what was needed.

    That post struck a nerve with me too. I braved the comments, but there is one I liked in particular.

    The gist was that giving formula is like giving your child organic vegetables. Breastfeeding is like growing them yourself.

    A sweet analogy.

    Another woman shared what babies were fed a good 80 years ago. I think sugar water was one thing.

  4. It is today’s society that makes moms feel guilty for not breastfeeding their babies, making you feel as though you are putting brandy in their bottles along with the formula.

    When Erik was 2 months old I didn’t make enough milk for him at night and started giving him formula. I felt so guilty about it and then hated myself for feeling guilty. Both of us were happy and he was getting the nutrition he needed. I honestly don’t see what the point would have been torturing ourselves further. We had a few terrible nights of him screaming because he was starving and me being miserable from not sleeping. I wish I wouldn’t have let it go even a few nights but that mommy guilt was there.

    You did the best for both BabyHope and yourself.


  5. After six months of breast feeding you should have pride, not guilt. I didn’t last six weeks, and during those six weeks Zoey had mainly formula because I just didn’t produce. Even if I HAD produced milk, I really hated the experience and would’ve probably quit anyway. It did not bond me to my daughter. I resented feeding time.

    I do feel guilt, but more than that I feel anger. I don’t understand why there is this crazy, militant attitude concerning the choice between breast and bottle. I’m offended by how judgmental society has become toward women who prefer the bottle.

  6. I have to agree with everyone. I can feel your “pain.” With my first daughter, I stopped nursing her about a week after we got home. It wasn’t due to a supply issue, it just was that I couldn’t get the right latch and it hurt. I felt so guilty, that when she was 4 months old I started pumping again. It was such a difficult time. I wish so badly that I just enjoyed sitting down with her and bottle feeding her formula, but like everyone says its society that makes us women feel terrible. With my second daughter that is now 9 1/2 months old, I nursed while in the hospital, and when I got home I realized I just couldn’t pump before, feed her, and pump some more again because I was like a cow, and take care of a 24 month old besides. I said to my partner, “go buy formula now!” And you know what I haven’t looked back since. She looks healthy as a horse and weighs 21 lbs 6 ounces at her 9 month appointment and compare that to my now 3 year old daughter that just went to the doctor on Friday for her 3 year checkup and weighs a whole 28 lbs! I just wanted you to know that I hear you when you say those words.

  7. Don’t feel bad because I had the same problems. He just was not getting enough and would scream after nursing. I felt bad but at same time it was a relieve to both of us. My husband supported me and our son is healthy and happy now at 2 years.

  8. Hey, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. You made the right decision.

  9. My issue wasn’t with breastfeeding but with my daughter’s birth. I elected to be induced, which winded up in a c-section. Even though it turns out it was the best thing for her, I still have such raging guilt over not having a “perfect birth”. Or hell, even just trying for a perfect birth. I opted to get the meds on right from the get-go.

    So, while I’m not exactly on the same page with the breastfeeding, the guilt think I can totally, completely relate to. If you find a way to stop it from invading my space, please let me know.

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