the tormented mind

I have to be pregnant.

There’s no way I’m pregnant.

I’m pretty crampy.

But my boobs hurt less than yesterday.

But it was that shooting, stinging kind of pain – that’s good, right?

I’ll never be pregnant again, will I?

Are those blue veins on my chest darker?

(Visualizing those embryos burrowing in.)

There’s no way I’m pregnant.

I hope the cramping is a good thing.

I’m never that lucky.

I have to be pregnant.  There’s no other option.

Lather, rinse, repeat.  I’m not crazy.  I swear.

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~ by Larisa on September 2, 2009.

11 Responses to “the tormented mind”

  1. Thinking good thoughts for you. Hoping very hard.

  2. Ahhhh! Those thoughts ARE so tormenting. You are one day closer to being able to squelch that pesky back-and-forth commentary. I really like the 1st and 12th lines of this thought process.
    There really is no other option.

  3. Oh the waiting is horrible, it’s funny the thoughts that run through your head! Keeping my fingers crossed and wishing you happy news soon!

  4. So you’ve got the old devil on one shoulder, angel on the other gig going, eh?

    In the end, the angel always wins. I hope this is the end.

  5. This is the tough part of the wait..

  6. Hugs.

  7. I have always hated this part. Hugs indeed.

  8. Yep. The 2ww death spiral. Oh so fun.

    *hug* Fingers tightly crossed.

    xxx

  9. Personally I think they should give you a mega Valium at the transfer that lasts the entire two weeks. Wouldn’t that be divine? Just wake me up when it’s over kind of thing.
    Hoping hoping hoping for you!

  10. Hang in there. The wait is never fun.

  11. Oh the joys of the 2WW!

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