the only bright side I’ve come up with

I don’t usually talk about weight here, but here goes.  Yes, I tend to be thin.  I try to eat a healthy diet, but I’ve got a mean sweet tooth.

I’d never lost all the weight I gained with BabyHope.  I started that IVF cycle at 116 pounds, and I got up to (I think) 142 – so 26 pounds.  By my 6 week post-partum visit, I was 126, and I’ve hovered anywhere from 122 to 126 ever since.

This morning, I was 117.  How’d I do it?

Let’s start with abdominal pain after my retrieval.  Followed by some bloating and discomfort the first week or so of the pregnancy.  And then, the blood loss!  I know I didn’t eat much for about 24 hours.

So, I’m one pound away from my starting weight.  I’m sure I’ll gain some of it back – some of it’s bound to be muscle loss from my sheer lack of activity.  But that’s the only bright side I’ve managed to see so far.  Cynical much?

I do have a consult with the MFM scheduled.  I cried on the phone.  I hate it when I do that.

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~ by Larisa on March 12, 2010.

8 Responses to “the only bright side I’ve come up with”

  1. Where would we be without a good dose of cynicism? Still throwing around babydust, I’m sure. (Shudder)

    Crying in front of the professionals, don’t like that either. Though joking around seems to get a few funny looks now and again.

  2. xoxo.

  3. I remember crying the first time I called TFC. THAT seems entirely laughable now, huh? Is it making you smile, even just a tiny bit..to imagine me, pre five IVF failures, crying over having to consult an RE? Ha ha ha ha ha…

    Anyway, I eat healthy but have a mean sweet tooth, too. Sigh.

    Thinking of you–let’s walk next week!

  4. i’ve cried many times talking to a doctor or nurse on the phone. i feel like a total dork but they get it. also love the tissue boxes in the exam rooms. like they are waiting for you to get bad news. and i envy you for being 117 lbs. i don’t think i’ve weighed that little since 7th grade. hope that gave ya a chuckle. thinking of you.

  5. That may be the only bright side. I know you would trade it in a second for a healthy baby & pregnancy. May the MFM consult shed light and bring hope.

  6. I don’t think you can make any money selling that diet. May you never lose weight in that manner again, for that matter. Your wit is enjoyable at any rate; try on some new skinny clothes and pose for the mirror if that feels silly and good. BabyH might get a kick out of “model Mommy”.

    Hoping for a good appointment for you, whatever that may mean. I guess no tears for starters, at least in front of the professionals, although no one would blame you. Hoping for much better than no tears, though.

  7. A long long time ago around when we first got married Soeren and I almost got divorced. I got to the point where I told him it was over and moved out. My only bright side at the time was that from all the stress I was a size 2. Everything seemed to be crashing down around me but I couldn’t help liking the way I looked in a pair of jeans.

  8. Hope you are hanging in there!

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