change is in the air…

I’m going back to work.  Super part time, but it will be a regular schedule.

Ah, the feelings this brings up.

I’m a little excited to use my degree again.  I’m a little excited to have some extra income.

I’m anxious about childcare arrangements.  We set something up for the fall that isn’t ideal for work, but with some help and manipulation, I think it will work.  I’m nervous about moving (again) in the middle of this.  I’m a little worried about being spread too thin – it’s not like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, or being the primary caregiver for BabyHope is going to fall to someone else just because I work.

And I’m sad that it’s yet another step away from family building.  But that’s what it has to be – that’s what each day is anyway, it’s just marked in a different way.  It’s saying to the world, “Hey, my kid is getting older, I’m done, I need a job!”

The “position” really couldn’t be more ideal.  It’s with the school district we’re moving into (where I used to work), doing speech therapy with the “walk-in” kids at a central location.  It’s a by the hour position, so if I’m there, I get paid, if I’m not, I don’t.

Dipping my toes in, I suppose.

~ by Larisa on August 25, 2011.

6 Responses to “change is in the air…”

  1. Lots of changes indeed.

    I hope you’ll feel doing that job is worth your while. I presume it will – helping kids after all – though it doesn’t sound like you’ll be getting lots of interaction with adults (if that’s what you’re looking for). I’m just guessing here.

    We’ve always been very lucky with our childcare. Linnea appeared happy in her daycare and is now happy in pre-school. It agrees with her character.

    I hope the world responds to your signal gently. Your family building days may be over, I suppose you prefer not to have to explain yourself over and over to inquisitive (semi-)strangers.

    “Only one?” is simply an alternative for “No kids yet?”. Small talk, sure, but I still dislike it.

    • Oh, the “only one” has been a constant fixture this year. I’ve started responding that she’s an “only”. That generally stops the questions it seems – I do sometimes share more than that. Mr. Hope says he’s going with “we would if we could”.

  2. How exciting! You’re right — no one else does all of the stuff that you would be doing if you were home, but it is still nice to feel needed in your career as well. It is such a delicate balance — I totally understand that!!

    Is BabyHope in preschool this year?

    • She is in preschool – a different program from last year. There’s driving involved, but I think it’s a better placement for her. I hope I’m right!!

  3. Hoping it all goes well. It’s always hard to balance (at least for me) but working a little is nice as I am sure you are great at what you do and it feels good to dab in it again without the full-time commitment. The move is another story- all the packing and unpacking!

  4. oh good luck! i’m in a similar situation (just got back to work this week after 14 months off) so i feel you! i’m sure it’ll all work out for you!

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